What We Most Need is Where We Least Want to Look
Friends,
The gold is in the shit.
A handful of times over the years, I heard the Jungian analyst Ron Schenk say those six words in our classrooms. Ron minces no words and suffers no fools. Aside from whatever joy he got from cursing in formal settings—a joy I sometimes share—Ron was also succinctly framing a paradox at the core of our lives.
Jung told us that we do not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. Those are abstractions—not easy to pass off as inspirational self-help, but still a bit distant from the truth of the process. We find soul by digging in the shit: in the awful, the decaying, the offensive, the last places we want to touch. Like it or not, this is the work. It doesn't mean wallowing in what's worst about us, but rather in understanding that the stuff of growth comes out of our decaying waste, the vitality we have lost or shed, the illusions that kept us from seeing reality.
In her poem "Compost," Brigid McNeill captures this psychological truth eloquently:
Rot is not surrender.
It is participation.
The slow alchemy of apple cores,
heartbreak,
old selves and half-remembered
dreams each softened by rain,
each broken open by time.
Humus, the richly fertile product of the decay of organic matter, is the end point of the process of composting. It is also etymologically tied to our words humility and humiliation.
Many of my ideals, and my idealized sense of self, are in a season of humiliation. We are in the midst of disturbing, seismic social changes. We have launched a war that makes no sense, with unclear goals, no plan to achieve them, and ferociously expanding damage to the global economic and social order. In the last year, the federal funding that provided the most basic support to our arts, culture, medical research, and social service infrastructures have been ripped out by the roots. The Jung Center doesn't receive federal funding, but the effect of removing not-nearly-sufficient resources for our common good means already limited private philanthropic resources are overwhelmed, deeply wounding the entire nonprofit sector and stripping lifesaving services from our most vulnerable people.
We are deep in the shit. We can't escape it.
The dynamics of transformation require us to stay with the decay. We can't magically skip ahead to the golden future. The path to humility involves humiliation. In his fall lecture at The Jung Center, Fr. Richard Rohr laughed about the daily humiliations he faces—he welcomes them, knows them to be part of the alchemical process of spiritual growth. We are so unused to accepting endings, to acknowledging death, that we miss their inextricability from the work of living, which always, always depends on the fracturing and decomposing of illusory ideals and identities.
Moments like this can be sacred. Making them so – finding the gold that is also always present – involves reflecting consciously on our humiliations, by ourselves and with each other. They are never just our own, and the sacredness and growth aren’t either.
Warmly,
Sean Fitzpatrick
Executive Director
PS. Our spring semester is in full swing, and you will hear more from us very soon about our rich summer programming. Stay tuned.
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